A Clucking Good Time

Cleaning out my desk drawers to get ready for the move, I found a stack of old journals shoved behind old Christmas cards and thank you notes.  The majority of the entries in these journals was cringe-inducing swooning over boys I can't believe I wasted so much time on in my youth.  There were also some gems, though, which I tore out to save.  They include:

6/17/00:  Today I saw a rainbow.

7/5/00:  I LOVE THOMAS STREET! (& the bartender).  Yay for Tobelerones!  I am a SKITTLE!  TOOTSIE ROLLS UNITE!!

7/7/00:  Amber was going to sneeze - & that would be tragic.  She's not going to drool anymore.

3/1/01:  I just saw Weezer.  I should be able to say more, but I can't.  Because it was Weezer.  Rivers Cuomo - please be mine.  I want to be you.

Unknown date, 2001:  In the corner of the stairwell at the back door of my apartment building is a pile of poo.  It arrived suddenly one day last month while I was out shopping for "date me" clothes at Old Navy.  I returned home to the smell of ass, and I hurried up the front stairs to my doorway.  It wasn't until Amber came over later that night and greeted me kindly with, "your hallway smells like ass" that I decided I'd better figure out what it was.  I originally thought that it was probably coming from one of the other apartments, as our building is commonly flooded with strange and unpleasant smells.  Dan's front room still reaks of smoke from when he passed out drunk on the kitchen floor while making food on the stove.  My closet, I fear, will forever have the stench of hippie girl b.o. thanks to the girl who lived here before me.  Unwanted odors are apparently an unfortunate side-effect of our building of eccentric tenants.  As Amber and I left that night and descended the back staircase, we saw it in the corner, overpowering us with its stench and mockingus with its gooey presence.  "Wow," Amber said, "Your apartment really does quite literally smell like ass."  Mortified that there was actually a pile of feces in my hallway, I stood quietly as an even more disturbing thought entered my mind - where did the poo come from?  Our building has a front and back entrance, both of which remain locked and can only be opened by the tenants.  There are 8 tenants in the building and only two have pets, both of which are cats.  This was decidedly not cat shit.  Having a cat myself, I am knoweldegable in cat shit, and this was not it.  Cat shit comes in pieces and this was a gooey pile.  Who did the poo belong to?  Would the rightful owner ever clean it up?  Weeks went by and the poo pile held its ground as the other tenants and I shrank away in fear.  The story of the poo spread wildly to my friends and family and I can rarely get through a phone call or visit without hearing the inevitable, "is the poo still there?"  Three tenants have just decided to move out and privately I'm convinced that it's because of the poo.  The culprit still remains anonymous and I've dedicated a little portion of my website to a survey to determine what the populus at large thinks.  So far the tenant with the most votes is the weird guy who lives next door and listens to loud reggae music.  I'm inclined to agree with my poll-takers.  Yesterday I heard weird Reggae guy listening to that new god-awful PJ Harvey song.  He MUST be disturbed.

Oh wheat bread + honey roasted peanut butter!  You complete me.

There is an awful lot to be writing about and I wish I had the time for a separate entry for each, but I don't so bear with me as I pile things into one entry. Hopefully I'll be able to expand on some of these a bit later.

1. I am moving into a lovely house in less than a month, which is the reason I have no time for blog entries. I have a LOT of crap. A LOT. I have commenced with the packing, but it is incredibly overwhelming. I'm a bit nervous about the move itself, but J assures me it will be just fine, and I'm sure he's correct.

2. Speaking of that handsome boy, he just finished up his inaugural rock camp, wherin he taught 12-18 year olds how to rock. The final show was this past Wednesday evening and it was pretty sweet. J is pretty amazing and he constantly impresses me with his creativity and commitment to his kids (Teacher of the Year!) but this show brought that home.



3. I will be turning 30 in a couple of months and my parents have been planning something special for me as a surprise. Over the past couple of days, they've given me a couple of hints which pretty much went over my head. The first something like "Someplace where people are always rushin', even when they're having tea...where can we be?" The second, "Can you really have breakfast there?". The latter clue came with a jewelry box, which is how I figured it out. Breakfast + Jewelry must = Tiffany's. Turns out my parents are taking me to NYC the weekend before my birthday. (By the way, that rushin' tea clue was supposed to have led me to the Russian Tea Room). They've bought tickets to A Tale of Two Cities and Equus (the latter of which we'll be in the mezzanine for, which is good, because I really don't want to be that close to Daniel Radcliffe's junk). They are taking me to Tiffany where I can pick out a gift (up to a certain limit, of course). They are going all out for my big birthday year and I couldn't be more excited.

4. Training for the 3-day is going fairly well, but I wish I had more time. Why aren't there more hours in the day? Karen and I have been ahead of our training schedule so far, with an 8 mile walk being the most we've done. Today I walked 8 miles by myself, sans iPod and made pretty good time, although my legs are sort of killing me. Hopefully next week we'll be able to tackle closer to 10 or 11. If you haven't donated yet and would like to, visit my page here. 

Hopefully once the move is complete, there will be more time for updating, but we'll see.  The weekend after the move, I'll be heading to DC with Amber and the girls to look at bridesmaid dresses.  September is the trip to NYC, then a weekend jaunt to the mountains on my birthday.  October I'll be heading to the beach for a long weekend with J and his family, and in between all that, I'll be getting into heavy training for the 3-day the first weekend in November.  Whew!  2008 is shaping up to be a killer year. 

 So, I was actually going to post a nice, long post for the two people who check this blog, but I'm getting sleepy and I still have laundry to do.  And so, I give you a list.  Enjoy.  Maybe I'll post something decent later in the week.

Reasons this weekend kicked ass:

1.  My first trip to the drive-in.  Cheese fries, homemade milkshakes, hot dogs, popcorn, Robert Downey, Jr., a gorgeous sky, and a crazy dude with a light on his head.  It was the coolest thing I've done in quite some time.  It is my new favorite place.

2.  The Garrett Housewarming party, wherein we played cornhole, ate lots of meat, and yours truly got wasted from a case of PBR.  Apparently I was funny.  At least, that's what my friends tell me.  I really don't remember much past the dancing to Tony Basil.

3.  Seeing my dad out in public with a smile on his face and a spring in his step.  It's good to see him healthy and enjoying himself again.

4.  The best weather you could possibly ask for.  It was that lovely kind of sun where you don't sweat but never feel a chill.   

5.  A leisurly afternoon at Morrow Mountain State Park, which is truly one of the nicest parks I've been to in NC (and that's saying a lot, considering I lived in Asheville for 4 years).  Plus, you can't beat a view of Tater Top Mountain.  It's true, look it up.

6.  Did you hear me?  Tater Top Mountain.  It deserves it's own number.

7.  My virgin Roller Derby experience.  More cornholing, more beer, hanging out with lesbians, rollerskating violence, ice cream of the future, and kick-ass jams.  

8.  Presents.  My friend John recently went to NYC to do fun things like see The Daily Show and tool around Brooklyn.  While he was there, Dooce was signing the new collection of stories that she edited and he got the book signed for me (and another for Amber) by Heather B. Armstrong, Jon Armstrong, and Sarah Brown!  (And some other dude named Doug, who I'm sorry to say I don't know).  Anyway, it was totally dope, for I worship their blogginess. 

Reasons next weekend will kick ass:

1.  Charleston, dudes.

2.  Kids in the Freaking Fracking Hall.

3.  Mike, Kev, & Jim-Jam

4.  Charleston, and Charleston, and Charleston.

5.  Jestines!!

It’s nice to know that no matter how old you get, there are usually people older to make you feel better about yourself At dinner tonight, my mother told me that there was a couple on the news from South Carolina who have been married for 85 years. They’re both over 100 years old and my grandmother seemed pleased to know that there were people out there older than her (she and my grandfather are getting close to 60 years together).

The closer my friends and I get to our third decade (some of my friends are already past the landmark), the more we like to talk about how old we are getting and how old we’re going to get and what we’ll be like when we’re really, really old. We joke about what old people wear and what they like to do and wonder if someday we’ll lose our fashion sense and do the same old people things. Amber thinks she’ll be the kind of old lady who wears holiday themed sweatsuits decorated with glitter and sequins, whereas I’ll be the one in gold lame ballet shoes, acrylic nails, and gold jewelry. She’ll scrapbook while I stay glued to the TV watching my “stories.”

When my friend John told me he was going on a winter cruise with a bunch of old people, we naturally got to discussing what old people activities he would partake in while at sea. It was decided that, in order to blend in with his fellow shipmates, he should probably spend some quality time playing shuffleboard. In fact, I offered, why not play shuffleboard in old people clothes? He suggested plaid shorts and black socks. Agreed! But to make it special, he had to have an old people drink. A Tom Collins perhaps? No, not quite old enough. A Gin Ricky. No one drinks a Gin Ricky anymore. John promised he would do this on his cruise – he promised he would play shuffleboard in old people clothes while drinking a Gin Ricky. I told him that if he was serious he needed to take photographic evidence. He left for his cruise and I forgot about our conversation…until I checked my email this weekend and found these… 
 

THE WORK ABOVE IS PROTECTED BY COPYRIGHT AND/OR OTHER APPLICABLE LAW. ANY USE OF THE WORK OTHER THAN AS AUTHORIZED BY JOHN WENTZ IS PROHIBITED.  BY EXERCISING ANY RIGHTS TO THE WORK PROVIDED HERE, YOU ACCEPT AND AGREE TO BE BOUND BY THE TERMS OF THIS LICENSE. TO THE EXTENT THIS LICENSE MAY BE CONSIDERED TO BE A CONTRACT, JOHN WENTZ GRANTS YOU THE RIGHTS CONTAINED HERE IN CONSIDERATION OF YOUR ACCEPTANCE OF SUCH TERMS AND CONDITIONS.

 A conversation I just had aloud with myself in the car.

I hate being sick.  Why am I sick again?  Why am I still sick?  Ugh.  I thought I was better, but now I'm not so sure.  Ha.  That sounds like a song lyric.  Something like....I thought i was getting better/but now I'm not so sure/I thought your love was medicine/I thought you were the cure.  Oh my god, I'm delusional.  It must be the medicine.  I can't believe I just said all of this out loud in the car.  Maybe the sinus pressure is so bad that it's somehow blocking circulation to my brain.  I should post this in my blog as soon as I get home.

[fin]

We're going to the Superbowl!  Hell freaking yah!

 

Oh my goodness - SNOW!!

Is 14 days enough time to start feeling nostalgiac for 2007? I deem it so, at least for the purposes of this blog. I've already told you about my favorite moments of 2007, now I give you my favorite things in brown paper packages tied up with strings.

1. Andrew Bird: Technically, he's not a new find in 2007, but there were two significant Bird-related events that stoked the fire and made a best-of list without him impossible. First, I finally got to see him peform live in Asheville. Oh, he's so very odd and brilliant and strange and beautiful and I could not take my eyes away. And second, he released Armchair Apochrypha, one of the few albums where I like every single track. It's very near perfection, in my humble opinion.



2. Flight of the Conchords: A few years ago, someone at the office forwarded a link to the Flight of the Conchords fan site and I chuckled as I listened to their songs, specifically "Frodo", because it was just around the time of my Lord of the RIngs obsession. I can remember seeing their standup special at some point and finding it funny as well, but I didn't jump on the bandwagon with everyone else until their HBO show premiered this year. And then? The love. The show is great, their standup is better, and I truly think they're the perfect hobby for me. Let's take a moment to reflect, shall we? Do they play guitars? Check. Do they have good hair? Check. Are they funny? Check. Are they offbeat? Check. But the kicker? They are from New Zealand. Kiwis! How could I possibly resist? I cannot. I had no choice.



3. Pushing Daisies: Okay. I have a lot of TV boyfriends. I can't help it. There are the aforementioned Bret & Jemaine. Naturally, there's Stephen Colbert & Jon Stewart. And of course, there's Chuck whom I knew immediately I would love, before the show even began (I mean, come on...he's adorable, he's Jewish, he's a geek...he's Seth Cohen, but better). But Ned the Piemaker took me completely by surprise and has usurped all TV boyfriend love. It's ridiculous, really. But the odd thing is, I don't just have a crush on Ned. I have a crush on the entire show. I have a crush on Olive and Charlotte Charles and Emerson and the Pie Hole and Digby and the banter and the gorgeous costumes and the random singing and...I could gush on and on. I love this show. I love it in a way I have never loved another show (please don't tell Arrested Development; I couldn't bear it if Michael Bluth knew).



4. The Book Thief (Markus Zusak): I know what you're thinking. This book didn't come out in 2007. Well, that's true, smarty pants, but I'm including it anyway with these justifications: the paperback copy sure did arrive in stores last year and it was new to me in 2007. I don't know what took me so long to read this book because I've been hearing about it ever since it came out. Thank goodness for junipar for convincing me to wait in line to get this book at BEA. It was the first off the big pile of free books that I dove into and I COULD NOT PUT IT DOWN. I don't think my description could do it justice at all. It was heart-wrenching and beautiful and poignant. It is one of the best books I have ever read in my life and I can't imagine anyone in the world not liking it. Really. If you haven't read it, pick it up. Now. Go. I'll wait.

5. The Darjeeling Limited: Both movies on this list were films I waited for with a lot of anticipation. I was so excited when I learned that Wes Anderson was making another movie with Jason Schwartzman AND Owen Wilson. But what ended up making this movie for me was Adrian Brody. It's funny - I've seen many of his movies, all of which I loved him in, but if you had asked me what I thought of him prior to this movie, I would have given a non-commital shrug. I just never really think about Adrian Brody as being favorite. Until now. Wes Anderson + Adrian Brody = my heart on a platter. Oh, and then there's "I love you too, but I'm gonna mase you in the face!" Awesome.




6. The Book of Lost Things (John Connolly): I read this in January of 2007, so it probably came out in 2006, but you can see how few of the items on this list belong in 2007 anyway, so just roll with it. I bought this book because of the cover. The golden tangles of stems and leaves and the gothic font reeled me right in. I'll admit that when it began, it was not at all what I thought it was going to be, but that was okay, because it turned out to be much better than I could have expected. It's a fantasy for people who don't like fantasy and an adult book that could be young adult and a coming of age story and a family drama and so much more wrapped up into a very fast 300-ish pages. Don't let his past books fool you - this novel is nothing like the usual Connolly. It's wonderful.

7. Sweeney Todd: I won't say that I knew I'd love this movie before I saw it, but I had high hopes for it. Tim Burton. Johnny Depp. Stephen Sondheim. Sweeney Freaking Todd. I knew that it was possible that it could make it to the top of my movie list if it was done right, but there have been some Burton/Depp misses before (oh Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, why??) and so I was a bit nervous going to see it. But as soon as the opening sequence began I knew - it was going to rock. my. socks. And it did. I worship Johnny Depp and I worship this pretty, pretty, bloody movie. It even made me like Helena Bohnam Carter and that? Is saying a LOT.


 

Welcome 2008!  This year, one of my goals is to update my blog more often.  You’ll notice that was a goal of mine last year and you can see how well I did by scrolling down through the 5 entries I made since January 1.  I was successful in a lot of other things, though, which I’ll cover a little bit later.   In addition to my blogging resolution, I’ve also made a photo resolution (no pun) to put my new Nikon D40 to work and take a daily photo.  That idea is blatantly stolen from Dooce, but I thought it would be the best way to force myself to update my blog and flickr, and teach myself how to use my pretty, pretty camera.   Of course, we’ll see how well that goes.

I’m finding it hard to believe another year is over already, but I suppose I say that every year.  What is a new year without some reminiscing over the year past?  2007 had a lot of ups and downs,